Let Go of the Rice...

As I write today, I have to admit that I'm a bit in awe of all that has happened since I "let go of the rice."

Let me explain.  When we came to Colorado for this next phase of our life I planned to get a job--a REAL job.  

In our working life together, I often felt like "girl interrupted," because every time we moved so Ken could accept the next position in his career, I left whatever I was doing and began again.  My resume resembles a target used by a first-time shooter!

As a jack-of-all-trades I've done free-lance writing and photography, university news writing, public relations, event planning, radio, talent work and even banking!  (Yeah, that last one surprised me, too.  It was short lived.)  I am a person who loves to see what's around the corner so often I was more than ready to move on, say goodbye to whatever I was doing and start over with whatever opportunities became available in our new home.

 There were jobs that were hard to leave--I enjoyed the co-workers, the challenge, the possibilities.  But, I always knew that another job awaited.

When Ken accepted his first university presidency I bid adieu to my salaried work in public relations to begin what would turn into a 19-year career in public relations as a volunteer.

And, that's why coming West brought visions of returning to the world of a Real Job.  Only, unlike earlier times when I couldn't wait to see what job opportunities awaited, this time I felt like I should get this job--but without any enthusiasm to even look.  Weeks, then months went by.  I wasn't going forward or even backward.  I was stuck.  Pure and simple.

That's when I stumbled onto a book by Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening.  It's a lovely collection of short essays and observations.  It's said that when the student is ready the teacher will come.  Well, I'll never forget the essay for March 7, "Let Go of the Rice," because it literally rocked my world.

Mark describes an ancient story from China in which monkeys were trapped.  A coconut was hollowed out through an opening that was cut to the size of a monkey's open hand.  Rice was placed inside the coconut and left on the path of the monkeys.  A hungry monkey would eventually find the coconut, smell the rice and insert its hand inside the coconut.

Once the monkey grabbed the rice in its fist, the monkey could no longer pull its hand out through the opening.  The monkeys that were caught were those who would not let go of the rice.

Mark points out that as long as the monkey maintained its grip on the rice, it was a prisoner of its own making.  The monkeys that escaped were those who let go. 

When I read let go, I suddenly realized that I had imprisoned myself with something I no longer wanted but didn't know how to release.  I was holding on so tightly that I had stopped allowing my life to unfold with all the wonderful excitement and anticipation that it has now.

That day I let go and decided I wanted to pursue my art and writing, two aspects of my life that have always been part of me but never allowed to lead the way, I felt like I had just cleaned out the hall closet--only better!  I was free to say YES! to the Universe and in my next blog I'll give you the details on what an exciting journey that continues to be!!