It was a busy morning tapping into Alexa's hands-free, voice-controlled unlimited information.
First I asked for a weather update. Then weather updates in six different locations. I asked for the word of the day, my horoscope and headline news.
Because she lives in the Cloud she is getting smarter all the time. Just this week I got an update on all the new stuff she can do--tell a Mother's Day poem, plan a trip, report fun facts about sleep--and, so much more. So much more, in fact, that I can't keep up with all her new skills.
I was thinking about how easy it is to ask Alexa to add items to the grocery list or get a quick fact when I need it--all from my chair at the kitchen counter.
What if I had a voice-controlled, hands-free device more like Alexa's sassy maiden aunt Edna? Who sounds like my 4th grade teacher and was likely raised in Wyoming?
ME: Edna, (pause briefly waiting for the blue light to illuminate indicating she was ready,) Edna? Edna!!?
Edna: What?
ME: Edna, you're supposed to answer me when I call your name.
Edna: Why?
ME: Because you're my voice-controlled, hands-free device.
Edna: Suppose I'm busy?
ME: Busy?! You can't be busy. You're here to answer my every question!
ME: (Exasperated!) Edna?
Edna: (Exasperated!) What?
ME: I have questions.
Edna: Good for you.
ME: You're supposed to answer my questions.
Edna: I'm reading. Ask Alexa. Or better yet, ask Tap, Echo or Dot. Even Siri. Goodbye.
I can just imagine...
ME: Edna, What's the temperature outside?
Edna: (Assuming she's not reading.) Why don't you go outside and find out?
ME: You're supposed to give me answers.
Edna: All right. It's cold.
ME: How cold?
Edna: Go outside and find out.
Or, what if I was working on the bills...
ME: Edna, what is 33% of $197?
Edna: Show me your work.
ME: WHAT?
Edna: I'm not giving you the answer until I see your work.
or, working on a crossword puzzle...
ME: Edna, what's the capitol of Idaho?
Edna: Honestly? You learned that in 2nd grade!
ME: Yes, I'm sure I did, but it's slipped my mind.
Edna: Looks like someone needs to review. Speaking of, how are your multiplication tables these days?
or, what if I was drinking my tea and checking email...
Edna: Why are you still sitting in the kitchen?
ME: I'm checking email.
Edna: It's time for recess. Go outside and play.
ME: I'm almost done.
Edna: You said that an hour ago.
ME: Well, I'm looking at a couple of things on Amazon.
Edna: You don't need them. What you need is fresh air.
ME: Wait? What happened to my internet connection?
Edna: Check with me after recess.
or, if I was washing dishes and just remembered a couple of things I need at the grocery store?
ME: Edna?
Edna: Did you raise your hand?
ME: I have a couple of things to add to the grocery list.
Edna: Better get a pencil and a piece of paper.
ME: No, you're supposed to add them to my grocery list in the cloud.
Edna: Is your arm broken?
The more I thought about life with Edna, the more I wondered how she would sound and what she would say to my family and friends.
S.E.: Edna, how do I spell _______?
Edna: (In a voice that somehow sounds like her Dad's.) Look it up. You have a dictionary on the third shelf in the library.
And...
D.E.: Edna, I have a flat tire. Can you call a tow truck?
Edna: (In a voice eerily similar to his wife's.) No, you can change it yourself. The owner's manual is in the glove box.
and...
C.B.: Edna, I'm going on a trip. What's the weather in (insert destination?)
Edna: You don't need to know. You're not there yet!
and...
S.H.: Edna, turn the light on in the bedroom.
Edna: You can't turn it on yourself?
Fortunately, Edna seems to be busy reading a lot, which suits me fine as Alexa lets me get away with silly questions, requests for bossanova music and using her as an egg-timer--all without raising my hand!
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